Release Week Shenanigans: Day 1---Who Wants to Read Some Deleted Scenes?

Don't you love the end of movies when they show deleted scenes and bloopers (does anybody use that word anymore?)---well this is like that, only no one needs an ice pack afterwards.

[Remember: When you get to the bottom of this post, keep going and watch the limericks video. Vote for your favorite!]

Ok. Here's a scene from an early draft---dated 2005---of Three Rivers Rising which comes out tomorrow, April 13. Long long ago, I thought gossipy busybody Mrs. Godwin would be a speaking character, meaning she would have her own poems or monologues, however you like to think of it. She serves what I like to call the Greek Chorus function, or the Gladys Kravitz function: how do you show what your characters are rebelling against? You have to show somebody who lives and breathes the status quo, someone's whose judgement is to

be feared. Also, I notice that early versions of this book had little or no punctuation---that definitely changed, and rightly so.

Mrs. Godwin

some of us remember
a time back before the railroads
when the entire state of Pennsylvania
was buzzing about canals.

that boats should climb mountains!
imagine it!

a body of water was planned
to keep the canals full
in case summer ran dry.
the canals went out
as the railroad came in
and the little lake

changed hands over the years.
that’s how it was explained to me
when we bought shares in the reservoir,
by then it was one of the largest man-made lakes
anyone could name

well everyone in Town knew of Mr. Carnegie’s refuge
up here in the Alleghenies

and we longed for our own share of clean air
and clear water
after the smells and crowds and filth of town---
even me with my many society engagements
and social obligations among the right kind of families
my ladies’ clubs
and volunteer organizations---
even I was tempted away

to recreation in the mountains
at the lakeside resort
formally known as the South Fork Hunting and Fishing Club
though very privately
we call it simply Lake Conemaugh---
“we” being the most important families,
dozens in the high season
men of influence

highly accomplished ladies
and their well-bred children

many from Pittsburgh.

I wouldn’t embarrass myself by dropping names
suffice to say all the biggest tycoons in steel and coke
are members: Carnegie, Frick and Mellon
though they must be too busy tending their fortunes
to join us on the porch of the clubhouse

or to grace the parlors of those families
possessing gingerbread cottages lakeside.

Mr. Godwin is quite the opposite
he is absorbed by his new passion:
fishing.
from the moment our train car arrives at the South Fork station,
he is lost to me
doesn’t seem to hear me.

at the end of the season
it is nearly impossible to persuade him to leave.
he doesn’t seem to mind roughing it
though it wears on my nerves after a few days---
I can bring only my maid and one other girl!

for weeks on end!
I live like a pauper
in the name of fresh air and sunshine
while my house in town waits
fully staffed
furnishings covered in starched white drop cloths
for the summer.

well!

never let it be said Louise Godwin is a poor sport.
here I am to make the best of it.
at least I have the dogs with me
especially my precious little Ditsy
who never leaves my side.
her hair is tied up with a bit of the ribbon

trimming my new parasol.
what a picture we shall be

lounging on my favorite chaise
under the awning.

“Let’s go see
who has a spot of tea
and some gossip for us, Ditsy...
who will pass the time.”

Well, well...I can see how my writing has changed since 2005, hopefully for the better. I think Mrs. Godwin would be a fun character voice to write in, but it was better for this particular story to cut her. She's still a character in there, speaking her mind and making everyone miserable, peeking through the curtains like Gladys Kravitz.